The other day it popped into my head “wouldn’t it be great if there was a huge 40 days to loving yourself campaign?!” I imagined millions of people pledging to 40 days of self-love and the world changing from one of fighting to one of love and happiness. Yes, I know things take time to grow and maybe one day this will happen! In fact it is already happening and it’s only been 13 days since I began. A few people whom I’ve spoken to that have read the blog have said maybe they would start their own 40 days to loving themselves program. You don’t have to do a blog, you could get a notebook and write in it for 40 days concentrating on loving yourself and letting go of fear, guilt, shame, jealously and all the others. Come on it could be a movement!!
SO far I have one person who has decided to start their own program. They allowed me to share a page from their blog today. I hope it inspires other to start!
So today was another busy one. but what i kept coming back to was trying to find more awareness of what i was doing. Wether that was eating sleeping or chatting with my friends.
A couple things I noticed,
- A lot of my actions are to direct me from something else i don’t want to feel. Playing on my phone, over eating, drinking, sleeping. I used all of these things today to distract myself from feeling things like anxiety, fear, inadequacy. So through out the day I started asking myself why i was doing something and once i acknowledged it was to avoid some feeling i tried to get self to stay with that feeling a bit and explore it and try to give myself some love and support instead of avoidance. No action needed to be taken i could go right back to doing whatever I was doing before if I wanted to. But a couple times once i became aware and acknowledged that i was nervous and focused on loving myself instead of trying to shove away my emotions I didn’t want to keep doing it. Like for instance i was blowing my way through a burger and i was starting to feel overfull. I asked myself why i was eating? it was cause i was nervous about the tennis match i was going to, being in public and out with a friend I am still getting to know that I want to like me. I let myself feel that and told myself it was all okay, I would be right there with me and we got this. Also i realised overeating was not loving me. I put down the rest of the burger and instead got some more water and felt much better for it.
- Food is not a punishment or reward. It is nourishment and it is some thing we give to ourselves to take care of ourselves but also to enjoy. I am very bad at this i always feel like i want to distract myself with unhealthy food the punish myself for eating badly by not eating or over eating even more then I need to work to deserve to eat later by not eating. Its a very distorted cycle and has nothing to do with what food is for.
- I’m afraid of going to school tomorrow. But it will feel good to go to.
i think thats it for tonight i’m fading fast so gonna turn in early.